willofthewaif's Xanga

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 19:29:19 GMT

i have an excellent new xanga. under construction, of course.

this one is just...old. it's got a lot of old crap and stuff in it, it's just an old diary, and i need a new one. my life is changing, i'm changing, the weather just chanaged yesterday. my xanga couldn't possibly be excluded!

anyway.
goodbye.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 15:52:02 GMT

i feel like having a bowl of bread and a piece of soup.

edit//
read {this}
and pray for me?

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 03:46:38 GMT

cold days. pizza. crushed street salt jeweling the pavement. dance parties with little sisters to tim mcgraw and brad paisley and phil vassar and carrie underwood. more pizza. random phone calls. perfect pair of jeans. sleeping on the floor with my feet over the heater and my hair practically suffocating me. haha. and laughing.

see, i still appreciate good things. im not all complaints. too bad you can only sit where you're sitting and enjoy the beautiful background, because you can't even read what i wrote. so you probably think this is all more of my endless complaining.

my boss was almost pleasant today. josh drove up for my lunch break just to..watch me eat pizza? apparently he didn't want any. he must be dying.

i just realized that if/when i move to colorado next june/july, not only will i still be 17, but i'll be leaving my little sisters and my little brother behind...not to mention my parents. but that always seemed to just be part of growing up --"moving out and leaving your parents." but what about my little sisters? i'm their hero. they want to be like me when they grow up. but...i'll be gone. and my little brother? no more harry potter marathons? no more lord of the rings marathons? no more beating him up? and my mom..no movies together, no writing together, no fighting together, no driving together, no dance classes together, no more duets. it's different with my dad, i'll miss him like crazy, but he can still be my long-distance rock.

i'm not really sure if my older brother is moving out before i do or not. either way, i will miss him like crazy. he is so stupid and silly and..my best friend. monday night, after a four-hour rehearsal, he came into my room while i was laying on the floor like the half-dead dancer i was, flopped on my bed, and we laughed for like 2 hours. my mom got mad though, cuz i was supposed to be sleeping. ooh well.

wow. that was long.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 04:26:14 GMT

the LAST thing i could possibly want to do is go to work tomorrow morning at 10.
God only knows why i'm stuck at a job where I'm the only girl in a group of highschool senior/college freshman age co-workers. disgusting, crude, foul highschool senior/college freshmen. to be fair, we have our fun moments. but they all want me. they all hit on me. i am so SICK. OF. IT.
and my boss is, in the words of my awesome older brother, "an expletive". haha.

i just can't stand it anymore.

but..i can't quit. i have to have $200 per paycheck to keep up with dance payments. i have rehearsals every night from about 7-10 or 11 or 11:30, and it's exhausting. there's no way i can cut back on school either, until this performance is over on the 16th. i don't think i've ever, ever looked forward to a christmas break so much.

aren't there any gentlemen left, who aren't already married? or dead?

I HAVE NO LIFE

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 05:31:50 GMT

..just so you all know.

today:
7:00am.
wake up.
make breakfast for the fam
drop my dad off at work and go straight to rehearsal (dance) til 9:40
work - 10:00-5:00
another (different) rehearsal from 5 until freakin ten o'clock
home at ten thirty.
omg the movie we wanted to see is playing at 10:30..halfway across town!
fly off to halfway across town and watch a movie.
home at 1:11
eat soup.
type on xanga.

i love working with nondancers. "hey michaela, can you choreograph an interpretive modern dance to a dramatic reading? can you have it a week from now? okay great. "oh yeah...we'll have one rehearsal two days before i need you to perform it. okay great! sounds good." wait..what?

and then they happen to have exact ideas of what they want, so after i work a minor miracle of choreographing this masterpiece in one night, i have to change it. plus, i have no idea how fast they are gonna be reading this dramatic reading, so i have no idea how fast or slow i should dance.

great.

by the way, two important things happened to me today:
- 10:30, on way to said movie: stop in the middle of the road, thinking it's a turn lane, almost start turning..realize..there's only road and then..grass on the other side. oops.
- saw a very hot male being in a dark blue ram 1500. almost crashed. haha

they should make a movie of my life. it should be in three parts. it should be six hours long. i should be SLEEPING the entire time.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 04:59:00 GMT

i have moved five times. i have lived in alaska once and a foreign country twice, and i am still living in the house i was born in.

RANDOMosity.

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 00:03:21 GMT

There is nothing like:

- pink lemonade in november.
- singin' country in the car
- cinnamon glitter lipgloss
- charles trenet's la mer
- knocking 6'5" guys onto the ground.
- $3 eyeshadow
- letting masses of curls down that, after a long day, still smell like shampoooo

last night i drove downtown by myself, and proved i have a most impeccable sense of direction. no seriously. i'd never gone where i went before, and even though i called the boy on the way home, and missed like every other street, did a few U turns, etc, i got home at 10:59. ...or maybe because i called him on the way home....
anyway, i'd wanted to be home at 11:00. oh well...next time i'll be there on time i suppose. ;) moral of the story: i highly recommend, if you've never made a long, long-distance phone call while driving, and never gone to a strange part of downtown alone before, do both at once!

but i did discover Easy Street.
really..i was driving along with a vague idea of where i was when i looked up at a sign that said easy st. and one street over was 111th street. i had no idea there was such a lucky part of town.

the balls of my feet feel like they're splitting down the middle. my boss didn't give me any hours last week or this week! i'm really good at singing along to songs i've never heard before.

the colts lost. to dallas. 21-14...i think, before this season, that i stayed away from football because i knew how caught up in it i could get. but i finally gave in and learned everything about it, got crazy about it, and i almost felt tears when they lost. not cool. not healthy?

pin up those fallen stars

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 04:33:43 GMT

so yeah!

i kinda forgot to eat today.
i mean, i had french toast for breakfast, then i had a lemon cake, then 2 breadsticks for lunch. dinner was coffeecake at starbucks and hot chocolate. weird.

in other words, since my sad little night a few days ago, life's been better. i'm learning to deal with the stress, learning to talk to God, learning calculus, learning tour jete's...the list goes on haha. tonight was gorgeous. it was raining, and windy. little diamonds on the tree branches in the street lights. mmm..and coffee cake.

dance was good. he worked us pretty hard, and my back was so flexible tonight. more than a 90 degree angle bending backwards, it was crazy. and plus i think all my joints cracked haha--back, hips, ankles, wrists. later tonight my bro wanted me to walk on his back to crack it, and mine cracked as much as his. it was entertaining.

in other other words, every time i start wondering why i'm feeling like this about a boy 1364.10 miles away, he calls me and we laugh for about 2 hours. not so hard to remember then...

i guess i should go stretch now. and maybe eat something nutritious and not sugar-laden.
i want to be 120lbs by christmas, instead of 130. i dont want to be skinny but a little thinner. too bad it's not gonna happen...i hear steaks calling my name

[starless]

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 01:14:02 GMT

i am miserable.

i just had to get sick on the worst weekend possible.
i have tons of homework
i had to take the SAT today, while barely breathing
i can't really even think of anything GOOD that happened today....
i won't make $50 this weekend cuz of being sick (there goes those dance shoes and leotard)
i don't really have any close friends anymore, which can't be helped because of all the hours i work and dance and do school, i dont have time for anyone but still...
it'd be nice to have one friend that cares enough to ask how i'm doing. someone that i could honestly say "i couldn't have gotten through this without you"
because...i'm definitely at a point where i need someone like that.
or maybe not, because i'm getting through this year by myself so far and i guess i can just keep going.
i miss kelly =(
i don't usually complain, and i always make people laugh, so i guess they just assume i'm doing great 24/7.
my parents just want me to cut back on work and dance and stuff, but that's not even an option, not if i want to dance in college
it would be cool if they'd just say "hey, you can do this." instead of simply "you're doing too much."

anyway, i probably just need a hug.

edit//
12 hours later (as opposed to my normal 6-7 hours of sleep) i feel so much better. it helps to wake up to an empty house on a sunday morning (as opposed to the normal 8 other occupants). it's light outside, i actually feel ready to do homework (for once!) and later today, after i push myself a bit and write for a few hours, i'm going shopping, by myself. just to get out and forget everything for a little while. i'm sort of in the mood for barnes & noble and chocolate turtles.

i didn't dance yesterday (as opposed to my normal 3 hours), and that feels a little odd, but it also feels good to give my body a break.

and thanks everyone for the hugs and encouragement, even if i don't know any of you but one.
btw, this girl is amazing. She just happened to be there when I needed her...okay so no, God sent her right when I needed her. Love you =)

Monday, October 23, 2006

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 03:40:24 GMT

well hey peoples! it's been awhile...and life is insane over here. i work more than 40 hours a week. that's goin well...it's always quite interesting, since out of all the employees, i'm the only girl. the rest are highschool seniors or college freshman. but it's fun, we have a blast running that store haha.

what else...school! 9 classes. kinda sucks because i have absolutely no time to study. at all. so physics and calculus are pretty much just flying along and i take the tests when they come and get like 80's or 90's on them. russian is still fun. spanish is meh. novel ...argh. it's all just school.

and then there's dance. i now have my studio's company unlimited rate: 6-unlimited classes for $200/month. ...all of which i pay on my own. i dance 10ish classes a week, maybe 12 hours total combined. i love it. can't get enough of it. haha and then there's college and scholarships and a certain boy and i seriously...have no time for anything!

that's about it! boring post, but i don't care. enjoy your lives everyone!